The worst of it

I hate not finishing a book. It irritates me in ways that I can’t even explain. I’m a finisher. I am not a live-in-the-moment kind of person. Honestly. I’m a memory-steeper. I very rarely am “I am having so much fun right now!”. I’m usually “We are making a great memory!”. So, I can’t wait until something is done and the memory is there. I don’t know why I’m like that. I’ve always been like that. Maybe that’s why I’ve always had my camera. I’d go to camp as a kid, and take 5 rolls of film. I have hundreds and hundreds of pictures of people, places, and things (yes, all the nouns) that I don’t remember.

Anyway… Finisher.. Yes. I like the checkmark. I did this. I read this. I watched this. I love To-Do Lists. It may be a problem.

Sidetrack City – I’ve had way too much coffee today and nothing to eat, and I feel like I’m about to take flight and my brain is ADD unfocused.

You know what is worse than not finishing a book? Finishing a bad book. But as I’ve come to read more and more Indie and Kindle Unlimited books, some stories are not meant to be finished. I don’t write bad reviews very often. I really try hard not too, because some things are very clearly subjective. I don’t like “Daddy” books. ugh. I don’t understand people who like them. But, that is their thing. I’ve read some of one. And it was just a friends older brother book where she started calling him daddy, so it wasn’t a older man/younger woman daddy book. And I couldn’t finish it. Of course, she called him daddy all the damn time and it lost even the remoteness of tabooness, it just turned into a sister’s annoying friend at that point. I wrote a 1* review of it. And the 1* was generous, but I couldn’t leave a review with it.

You know what’s worse than finishing a bad book? Finishing a bad book that the author sent you and knowing you have to email the author and tell them it was bad. Gah. I really like this author, who I’ll call Jenny, and I’ve really like everything I’ve read by her. Then, I get an audio ARC from her, and I’m so excited. So I listen to it. And I sit for 4 days past from when my review was due. Just sit. Because it’s pretty bad. Like. I don’t like either of the main characters (I like the man more than the woman), and although I like the woman’s voice, the man’s voice is crap for the character. So, I had to write her an email. Because I have this arc. I can’t just ignore it. It’s not going to go away. So, instead of leaving a horrible review, I have to email her and let her know that I did not like it. And now, I’m sad that I’m afraid that I’ve hurt her feelings, and I’m scared I’m never going to get another ARC from her. Boo.

You know what is worse than that? Looking at other people’s reviews and seeing that they feel the same way about it that I did. Because now I hate that Jenny has to see all of this, and I wish Jenny was my friend in real life so that I could take her out for some tequila and some crying and move on. Because Jenny is a great author. And I’ve read books that she’s written after this one, and they are great. And I’m glad that I’ve read other things by her, because I would be super sad if I never read anything else by her because of this book.